I’m sorry I fell for you. None of this is your fault, I just wish that you had been there to catch me. I want to fight for you, I want to wait it out. But I can’t put myself through all of this pain. I feel like giving up. But that slither of hope keeps me in for the fight.

I felt as if you were starting to become my best friend. There was more than friendship in the air. I felt it, you felt it… I can’t get my head around this. I will always ask myself why. Why did you push me away? Why aren’t I trying to win you? Why would you have cried when I left if you didn’t want me? I don’t understand any of it. I just wish things were back to the way they were. This is the reason I didn’t want to express my feelings for you. I didn’t mean for this to happen. You can’t control how you feel about someone… I’m sorry. 

I just want to leave everyone and everything. Feels as if I’m never good enough for even the simplest of things. And it may not the case at all but thats just how I view myself. Sad huh? 

I’ve never been the kind to change who I am. But this time its different, I’ve been changed. I’m not me anymore. I’m this blob of skin who hides in the safety of his bed day and night. Afraid of social interactions. I use to be very energetic and sociable. Now I’m just afraid of myself. I miss the old me. I miss myself.